Its safe to say dating has never been easy for us millennials.
Its hard out here in these streets for us, with there being so many obstacles against us when it comes to our generation having a thriving monogamous relationship.
You all know how difficult it is to truly find a partner who is real and wants to be in a long term, healthy relationship. That can feel like you’ve been given the short straw when it comes to love.
But there is light at the end of the tunnel! (Hallelujah)
Its only right to give you all the secret to finding your true love and happiness and its simpler than you may think.
So here are my top 5 tips on how I found my devoting husband before I turned 25!
- Date yourself first!
Now you may have heard this one before and I can confirm it works.
When you can love yourself and put yourself first, you’ll truly became attractive and You’ll realize your inner beliefs about yourself shape your reality and you’ll find yourself through dating yourself.
You’ll understand what you like and what you don’t. You’ll know what you want to prioritize and say yes to and what things, places and people to remove out of your life or at least have healthy boundaries with.
Just know that the key to this is how you feel, because feelings truly get the blessing!
Here’s a few activities you can try out when you begin dating yourself:
- Order in your favourite food and set up your eating quarters aesthetically
- Treat yourself to your something luxurious like a new fragrance
- Book a vacation with your friends or travel solo (Stay safe, let your family know)
- Book yourself a photoshoot
- Start a new hobby like painting
- Pamper yourself (Hair, Nails and maybe a Hot Stones Massage)
- Its okay to be Feminine!
I can’t stress how vital this is for your relationships whether you’re female, male or non-binary we all need to be able to live in our true authentic selves and be balanced like the Egyptian deity Ma’at.
We as human experiences, carry two energies like the Yin and Yang within us and we need to honor both of them: (masculinity and femininity) to flourish.
Its totally understandable that some of us lean towards one of these spectrum’s more than the other and that’s okay, but to be in our best selves we cannot deny ourselves from nurturing and loving all forms of ourselves.
From my own experience, I realized to be in my Goddess self I needed to be able to channel my masculinity and femininity equally to truly be considered feminine.
Right now, you may feel unable to tap into your femininity because you don’t know how to. Or you may not know when to switch off your masculine, logical authority side.
Society teaches us to always be in our heads, to think, think, think and at times, we can feel bad for feeling our emotions.
So the only way you can magnetize and attract yourselves to your life partners, is by learning what being feminine is.
Once you realize femininity is about creativity and being vulnerable you can become feminine instantly.
Here are a few feminine activities to consider;
- Dancing
- Singing
- Cooking
- Baking
- Cleaning
- Setting up a Sanctuary
- Having a bubble bath or muscle soak bath
- Self grooming
- Putting on makeup
- Painting
- Using singing bowls during meditations
- Hosting playgroups
- Hosting dinner parties
- Yoga
- Having Breakfast brunches
- Having sun bathes
- Having a cool shower at the end of every warm one
- Stargazing
- Lighting a candle
- Saying I am Affirmations
- Incense and scented aromas around the home
- Yoni steaming
- Journalling
- Gratitude list rituals
- Moon release rituals
- Reading laying down
At the end of the day you’ll find your muse to what makes you feel like you’re in tune with your feminine energy. For me, a luxurious pampering self care day and sometimes weekend is a simple and effect way to tune into my feminine side.
- Get comfortable being You!
Getting comfortable with being your truest authentic self is powerful because it is a form of vulnerability.
Vulnerability is where you’ll find the real magnetizing magick happens. And you’ll be happy that you allowed yourself to be free and whole with all parts of yourself to experience it.
I know it can be scary, I struggled to get used to my feelings to in the beginning, but the best advise I can give you, is to start with feeling the sun on your skin and describe how it makes you feel aloud to yourself.
Another simple sensation to try is, whenever you’re in the shower adjust the temperature of the water from warm to cool just before you’re ready to get out and notice how that makes you feel also.
You may find that from tapping into these sensations you notice forms of trauma come up to the surface from your childhood memories or past relationships and that’s okay.
Its possible that you may also even notice things falling into place because this is your time to heal yourself and be open to all the feelings that come to you.
Remember to trust and surrender and know that everything is clicking in your favour.
- Being disciplined is attractive:
You can always tell when someone takes pride in themselves and their environment. And you’ll find it easier to attract high value partners who compliment you because of how you carry yourself.
Its necessary to install adequate personal hygiene in your life before entering into a relationship and know what makes you happy before wanting to share yourself and your life with someone else.
Be disciplined in everything you do. With your routines, your standards of how you like to keep your home and what times you wake up and sleep at night is so vital for what type of partner you manifest into your life.
Having these good healthy habits in place before you are in your relationship is imperative for when you start living with your partner as they wont need to teach you how to live in a household together with shared cleaning responsibilities.
Here are a few more areas I recommend being disciplined in:
- How you use your money (have you started investing?)
- Your side hustles and passions
- Your mental health
- Don’t lose yourself in the relationship or the idea of having someone
- Re-centering yourself
- Finding time out for you
- Making time to read
- Having a self care routine (Hair wash)
- Eating to live
- Smudging out negative energy frequently with white sage and Palo Santo
- Being celibate while you are dating (Energy vampires are real I dated one before I found my Husband.)
Its so important that you don’t lose yourself in your relationship, always make time for that bubble bath, and get your hair done for you because you are the prize.
- When you don’t chase love, Love will chase you:
This applies to money to!
Sometimes when we really want something we end up sabotaging it and not even realizing how or why!
You’ll notice that what you desperately want seems to move further and further away from you because instead of using natural laws of attraction, you’ve moved into fear.
The key here is to act as if you already have what you want. Be so full of yourself that you can believe that everything you want is already yours because you have greatness within you.
Love yourself and put yourself first, do all the things you want to experience in a relationship by yourself first. Never hold yourself back and or block your own blessings because you are afraid of being alone.
Or because you’re stuck in a rut due to comparing yourself to others, nothing comes to you before its time, remember that and lean into working on creating the life you want to live with your partner as if it is already happening.
Once you do this, you’ll notice a shift in your world and somehow when your not expecting it you’ll be in contact with your person, no one else can this for you only you can do this work. Know that today is a new day no matter what your past relationships have been like now, your putting in the work and effort you’ll see this is where your book begins and the rest of your adventure is still unwritten.
Written by Elisha Chanté
Please share this article to your loved ones and friends if you find any of these tips helpful!
