How to manage day to day life while grieving

They say that there are 5 stages to grief.

Grief is an extraordinary experience, teacher, healer  and eye opener for so many of us, including myself. I have been exactly were you are and know first hand how challenging it is to lose your loved ones especially when they are so young.

It doesn’t matter if the death was to be expected due to old age or was unexpected. I have experienced both and I can honestly say both will require you to take some personal time to be with yourself and your loved ones so that you can adjust to your new normal.

I’ve always been accepting of death because I understand its the circle of life. We all have to pass through it at some point but that doesn’t mean to say you should not cry, feel your emotions, talk about your loved ones, ask the question why and so forth. These are all normal behaviors to experience including anger, sadness, hurt and unconditional love to name a few more.

 

So here are 5 tips that’ll help you heal and accept what is when trying to find ways to manage grief.

 

1. Go for walks and be outside in Nature:

 

Now this one was not easy for me, I found myself wanting to retreat and I stopped all activities that required me to be seen outside which is not good for your mental health or physical health because you need fresh air and sunlight on your skin for so many health beneficial reasons.

Being in nature allowed me to let go and clear my mind. I cried a lot on my walks and sometimes I’d bring a book out with me but I did find it somewhat difficult to concentrate so, reading didn’t happen much on my walks. Yet, it was still so helpful to do my best in keeping myself active like I did before the bereavements.

For me finding the beauty in nature all over again was the first step to my road to healing and managing my grief.

Here are a few things to do in Nature:

 

1. Grounding every time I went to the forest or the park by taking my shoes off and feeling the grass underneath my feet.

 

2. Breath work outside whilst I watched the trees and animals really allowed myself to let go of what I could not change and feel the sun and the wind on my skin. I personally followed the Wim Hof Method when I did my breath work.

 

3. Yoga and fitness

 

4. Listen to music

 

5. Have a picnic with your partner/ family and friends

 

6. Journalling outside is always refreshing

 

7. People watching, this was something I’d do subconsciously and I honestly believe seeing children and families enjoying themselves was so therapeutic, it allowed me to manifest that peace in my life.

 

2. Eating to live, not living to eat!

 

Eating to live is my mantra and I am sticking to it! Having a balanced well prepared meal every single day, absolutely allowed me to not only  look good in my physique but also feel good and magnetize loving generous relationships to me.

I found in the beginning of my bereavement, I didn’t have much of an appetite and would often miss meals. And when I would eat, I’d snack on whatever was quick and near me which is not what my body or immune system needed. Especially since I was already vibrating on a lower frequency. Not having sufficient nutrients in body was bound to make me feel worse.

So I began cooking large meals that would last me several days whenever I had the urge to cook and was feeling in better spirits, which let me tell you lead me to connect to my family friend Lisa who is also a author to this blog! We decided it would be really uplifting to start a sacred sister kitchen and do theme dinners.

Honestly, I don’t think I would be where I am today without her continued support, healing from her adorable baby son and of course the food! Lisa, her son and my husband Matthew would all cook with me and we’d truly feast and enjoy leftovers for a few days which was helpful to my household and hers.

 

Cooking for days in advance can truly save you all so much time and effort in preparing different meals and really brings your household together to make enjoyable core memories.

 

 

Here are a few meals that helped me along the way which I believe will inspire you!

 

1. Overnight Oats
2. Vegan Caribbean feast
3. Vegan Sushi (Super fulfilling)
4. Vegan Chuna (using chickpeas), rice and sweet corn
5. Vegan bolognese

 

3. Embrace all of your emotions. It’s okay to cry:

[the_ad_placement id=”content-placement-after-3rd-paragraph”]

Now this one here really got me, because I have always been such a strong emotionally balanced woman and never really grieved before until recent.

 

I have experienced losing loved ones before in the past and I must say from experiencing two immediate family members passing within two weeks of another has really opened my eyes, heightened all my emotions and showed me that each death will bring you different emotions.

 

It maybe be easier to accept and heal from one death to another due to factors like age and health conditions and that’s to be expected because these things really do shape the way we morn our loved ones.

Just know its okay to have great days and its also okay to cry.

You may find yourself feeling angry and this is something you must recognize and release in a healthy way. I found myself getting more annoyed at small things like a plate left unwashed in my sink, I realized I was using these situations to move away from my true feelings and redirecting it to the small things in my life.

 

Once I was able to communicate how I truly felt I was able to release and let go of all that was hurting me and refocus my mind on what was going well in my life.This will allow you to reassure yourself that you can be happy in the here and now.

 

4. Gratitude is my only Attitude:

Please remember gratitude is so essential not only when things are going well for you but also when things are not where you thought they’d be. You must take time to do the following;

 

1: Say positive affirmations to yourself

 

2: Do visualization prayers and see yourself and your life as if its already achieved everything you could possibly desire right now. ( They key to this practice is to Feel it.)

 

3: Practice gratitude journalling

 

4: Have a meditation routine, I do mine every morning and every night and this really allowed me to find love for myself again.

 

There were times I felt numb and not connected to my highest truest expression of myself as a human being and I needed to really stop and thank myself for all that I had achieved this past year. One of the best things I ever did to do this was by writing a list of all the things I have achieved in my life so far this year. This method really brought a smile and tears to my eyes.

These list can include; moving home, getting into a new relationship, a memory of being with your friends or loved ones.

Whatever it is write it down, if you can remember the date list it to and go through your social media to look back at any posts you’ve made when you felt happier and reminisce on how you felt in that happy moment. Get dressed up and look your best because just like Rev Ike said; “ When you look good, you feel good and when you feel good, good things will always come your way.”

[the_ad_placement id=”before-content-placement”]

5. Feng shui is key!

For me Feng shui shows me what is going on the inside of my spiritual self by showcasing itself in my environment and my living quarters so for me, when my home is clean and well organized so are my chakras, my mental health and my inner Goddess self.

I enjoy waking up to a clean presentable fresh home because it is one less thing that will throw me into a low vibrational state and allow me to focus on me instead cleaning. So my number one rule is that all pots have to be washed up and put away before bed, to have clean floors and toilets and to always wash out the sinks and showers after every use. (Clean as you go people) it really works.

Once more, a clean home allows for you to be able to go straight into a mediation or a much needed yoga workout before you start your day. No matter if the sun is out or if it is a rainy day you’ll find so much peace and comfort from your home which is not only inviting to yourselves but also for your guest to.

Just be sure to regularly purify your home, yourself and your crystals if you utilize them by using smudging tools like white sage, rosemary, incense, Palo Santo, Pink Himalayan salt water and opening  your windows for 15 minuets each day. Its also important to have a regular deep spring clean (even when its summer, autumn and winter).

I also like to ensure I play 432hz and 528hz when I am listening to my music on spotify this ensure only good vibrations are floating in my home because they really do influence a positive feeling in me.

So here you have it, my top 5 personal tips for managing grief. These tips have really helped me heal from my bereavements, I know grief can be painful but its also a great teacher, it shows you what’s really important in your life.

The journey will continue as you adapt and accept your new normal. Remember to surround yourself with people and things that bring you peace and happiness because life is to short not to be happy with yourself.

I truly hope you are all able to find your peace, love and happiness within and know that life does go on. Remember we are “the masters of our soul and the captains of our fate.” William Ernest Henley Invictus

 

I am here with you and I hope you all heal.

Article Written by Elisha Chanté

[the_ad_placement id=”before-content-placement”]